Just what's new in my life...

Remember that wonderful trip to Vermont and NYC we had? Well, I haven't blogged about it or posted any pictures on facebook... mainly because the one thing I have to say about that trip - while it was wonderful, I was t.i.r.e.d.  Not just sleepy, but exhausted. Normally I would have no problems walking all day, taking in the sites, colours and smells of a new city... I'd love it! And even though my man is 6'4" and I'm only 5 feet and umm..1 'n a half inches, I'm usually pulling my husband behind me. If he's doing his "work" walk, which means racing people from the train to his office through the underground path, well, then I'm trailing him... but any other time I've ever walked with him, he is S.L.O.W. :) But not this trip... the poor guy, I was slowing him down... and moaning that I needed to rest... needed to sit... needed to eat....needed to sit... needed to sleep.

What was the difference?

Well, a little someone was making "his" presence known... yes, I'm trying to share our exciting news! I'm going to be a mom in June!! We're going to be parents! We're beyond excited, and so very thankful God has blessed us with this gift of life growing inside me.

I'm a couple days shy of 13 weeks along and we had our first ultrasound last Friday... so amazing to see this little one growing with his/her heart beating and little head bobbing ferociously! L.O.V.E. Our due date is "June 5th"... so in reality?? Likely 2 weeks after that. :D

We told our parents and siblings this past Saturday, and it was so wonderful to hear the excitement on the other end of the line. This is the first grandchild for both sets of parents... if they thought the distance was hard before, I can only imagine what it will be like come June!

I'm so glad to finally be able to share this news... every time I talked to my mom and she asked, "So what's new?" Ummm... "Not much"...  Totally felt like I was lying to her every time because in my head I'm singing, "Everything is new!!!" :)

We have so much to be thankful for... so far this first trimester has been a healthy one. God knows the future, and we leave our little one in His good hands.

You hear of children growing up unloved all around the world - orphans, street kids, or those from broken homes where all they know is anger, abuse and bitterness... I am so thankful for our loving family and friends who will welcome this child with joy and love. We should never take this for granted and give God thanks for our many blessings.

You can't see much in this picture, but... here's our little bean at almost 12 weeks. :)

So, that's the update. I'm going to be a mom, and my man is going to be a fantastic dad. :) And while the responsibility is beyond enormous, the privilege God is giving us is thrilling... and we are E.X.C.I.T.E.D! :)

Thanks for sharing in our news :)

Praying Together

Do you have a little prayer group? Sadly I feel like quite a few in our generation grew up without seeing little prayer groups in action, but the good news is - it's not too late to start!  A small group of ladies in our assembly get together every second Monday afternoon for an hour to pray. I can't make it every time because I work, but when I can take a late lunch I try to get there. What is special is the range of ages and backgrounds of these ladies... I'm the youngest - coming in at my early 30's, and the oldest would be in her late 80's I'm guessing. We  are a group made up of widows, mothers, grandmothers, single sisters and young married wives...We share prayer requests, burdens and thanksgiving for answered prayer at the beginning, then quietly bow our heads and take turns sharing our hearts with the Lord. It can be an emotional time (maybe because we're women?!) as the requests and burdens are real. It is a time when we pray for our little assembly, our elders, our various outreaches, our community, each other and the known trials dear ones are going through. It is a time when you know each one around the little table cares for your special request and are praying with you. It is a special hour in God's presence - together. 

I am thankful for this little group... and encourage other women to get together to pray. Sure - it's terrifying the first few times you hear your voice in the quietness, but the benefits soon outweigh the nervousness. The Lord has asked us to pray... for sure in our personal lives, but there are also many examples of when decisions were to be made or crisis hit that believers came together to pray. There is power in prayer, and we need to utilize this great resource God has given us!

Should I have a complex?

On a much lighter note...

I'm always bemoaning that I can't find boots to fit my calves... Almost anything with a zipper does not work for me. Well, I just came across a boot for "extra wide calf"... and guess what the name is?? rsvp Janna.

Yes, they even spelled my name right.

But the boot is rather ugly... and I don't think I need them that wide.

God's Purposes

I've come here to write multiple times since my last post... but what I'm able to put words to seems far too trivial... yet what my heart and mind has been mulling over for awhile now is still so jumbled that expressing myself seems next to impossible.

My heart is still so heavy for Duncan... while the "events" are over with and people go on with their lives, his life is still shattered. He is only at the beginning of a very long and lonely grieving experience. And that must just seem overwhelming. All words fail me when I think about this, but I know Christ hears the cries of my heart and brings them to the Father on my behalf.... and joins them with the prayers of others for Duncan's comfort and strength.

Tuesday night at my bible study where we're doing Beth Moore's "A Woman's Heart - God's Dwelling Place" (a study on the Tabernacle), the focus of the night was Christ as our Great High Priest who always lives to intercede for His own. I was reminded that Christ is never further than God's right hand, and there is constant discussion between Triune God as Christ brings forward our concerns, our prayers, our requests, our confessions, our heartbreak, our triumphs, our fears, our doubts... EVERYTHING that concerns His children, Christ brings before the Father.

It was pointed out that we have a skewed concept of God... we think that just because He is all-knowing means He doesn't think... deliberate... reflect upon... that if we thought He did any of these, than we're saying he doesn't know... completely false. God IS all knowing... He knows the end from the beginning. But He is THINKING about you. He is THINKING about me. He is reflecting and taking notice of what is happening every moment of our daily life. He makes conscious decisions concerning my life and your life to accomplish HIS purposes for our individual lives here, in our generation.

That hard blow comes... and in despair we wonder "Where is God in this? Does He care?"  Yes, Child of God. He cares. And this trial did not come on a whim... it was a deliberate decision by our Heavenly Father to allow this trial... But why? Because He has a plan and a purpose for my life here, and your life here... and this trial is critical to us accomplishing our purpose for God here in our generation. We may not see the fruit of it, but we can trust the all-knowing God who never makes a mistake. He is only good.

Jer 29:11-14
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” declares the LORD.

God is talking to his people in exile. Here they were taken captive and carried away from their beloved Jerusalem to Babylon. You can only imagine what their pain was, their fear, their doubts in the God who promised to make them a great nation. Yet - this was part of God's plan. This was critical to accomplish his purposes for His people... This is what vs 4 says:  "This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon."  This wasn't the plan of the evil one... God takes credit for this trial to His people. It was part of a bigger plan.

Yet God never minimizes the pain His children are feeling... while He allows a deep valley, a dark trial, a painful experience - He promises to be there as the Comforter. As the King of Peace. As the Rock - a Firm Foundation. As the Shield. As the Wings of Shelter. As The Protector. As the Cleft in the Rock - a Hiding Place. He doesn't leave us alone to face these dark experiences. He is the Light in our Darkness. He is the Healer. He binds up the broken hearted. He sets captives free. He is our Saviour. And we must trust Him. He's got it under control. While we may feel shattered - He is not shaken.

Does he really take notice of your agony? Yes... here is just one example.

Ps 56:8 says: "You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?" (KJV)

I like the message paraphrase:  "You've kept track of my every toss and turn, through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book."

Then, finally, in Mal 3:16 - "Then those who feared the LORD spoke with one another. The LORD paid attention and heard them, and a book of remembrance was written before him of those who feared the LORD and esteemed his name."

So while each step of your life was predetermined by the all-knowing God before you were even born, He is currently paying attention to every detail of your life. Every pain. And every Joy. Remember that Christ - who gave Himself as a sacrifice for you, to Redeem you - is forever living at God's right hand making intercession for you. They are taking note of you dear one... and Christ is praying for you. Amazing!

Even in your pain - give Him Praise for who He is.

So, if you are going through a deep dark valley right now - remember that Your God is with you, holding your right hand. He is wanting to strengthen your faith and bring you through this victorious. His work in our lives is to mold us to be more like Him and to equip us with the critical "tools" to accomplish His purpose for our life ... here. Living in our generation.

Will I step out of the way, submit myself to God's perfect will and plan, and allow Him to accomplish His purpose for my life?? He saved me and left me here for a reason... time is short... I pray I will be molded to be more like Him and to live out His purposes for my life. 

Let's pray for one another.

Hold those you love close...

Because time is short.

This has become so much more evident to me this week, since a friend of mine lost his sweet young wife of four and a half months. Yes - you read that correctly. God blessed Duncan with four and a half months of sweet marriage to his young bride of 23 years old. Yesterday was to be her 24th birthday, but God had other plans. Monday morning He took her home to be with Himself...

And while we know Bethany is not in front of her Saviour pleading to be back here, this sudden loss is such a shock and heartbreaking for those she left behind. While she is praising her Lord and Saviour in peace... in a place where no tears fall and no pain is felt...  there are plenty of tears falling here. Plenty of pain. Grieving hearts wondering how they will go on without their beloved daughter, sister, friend and wife. A young husband who must wonder how he will continue to do the work he has been called to do in Mexico... yet, with God's help and strength - he will.

It is impossible to not wonder why this had to happen... but we will choose to trust our God. He is sovereign. Everything He allows has a purpose. And while the night seems very very dark now.... the morning will come... and in trusting God and leaning completely on the One who never fails - joy will come through the pain.

With a breaking heart for Duncan especially, though that in no way diminishes the pain her parents, her brothers, her sister-in-law, her parents-in-law, the Mexico missionary team and her friends are experiencing, I am looking for things to be thankful for.

1. Above all, and really the only thing that matters, is that Bethany knew Christ as her Saviour. She trusted him completely. She served Him with love and joy and faithfulness. She lived Christ before all those around her.  We can truly be thankful for that and praise God for this.  Her life challenges each of us.

2. I am thankful her death didn't result from violence.

3. I am beyond relieved that she didn't die alone. That she didn't pass out alone, didn't experience the health complications alone, and that they won't be left wondering "What if someone came in 5 minutes earlier?"

4. I am thankful for the love and support Duncan has around him with his immediate family so far away. I am thankful that Dan could be there that first night.

5. I am so thankful that her memorial service was packed last night with those who loved her and Duncan. And that Duncan was able to do as he desired - speak briefly at the service... if you know Duncan at all, you can only imagine how impossible that would have been... God alone could have given him the strength at such a time to do that.

We have much to pray for... Duncan is on his way to Phoenix, AZ to catch a flight to Washington tomorrow morning... but he must first stop in Hermosillo to sign papers for the transport of Bethany's remains to Washington. Pray that all will go smoothly and that the Lord will have her remains arrive on time. Apparently those in Washington said this would be a miracle with all the International red-tape... but our God is a God of miracles. He can do it.

While I never had the privilege of meeting Bethany, I was so excited for Duncan when I heard their news. Duncan and I lived in Halifax at the same time... with our group of friends we spent many hours hanging out, playing hockey on Thursday nights, eating nachos, working together in the children's work, practically living at Cain's... well he actually DID live there... I didn't, but felt like I did. :) Duncan is one of the most sincere, genuine and soft-hearted guys you will ever meet. He has a great sense of humour and the Duncan I knew never took himself too seriously. Duncan has the respect of all of us who know him... he has served the Lord for a long time now, desiring to live a life pleasing to his God and to share the good news of the gospel. It sounds like his sweet Bethany was a perfect match for him... sharing in this service for Christ and being the godly woman he needed by his side.  Again... it is so hard to wrap my head around why she was taken... impossible to understand. But God's ways are not our ways... His plans are not our plans... He only asks that we trust Him.

For God's glory, let's allow sweet Bethany's life and death impact us. To challenge us. To change us. To open our eyes. What are we living for? WHO are we living for? Are we doing what counts for eternity? Are we being a LIGHT in this dark painful world? Friends, if we have Christ as our Saviour, we have a hope beyond all hopes. We need to share this hope... we need to shine forth Christ. It can't be just words any longer - we need action... led by the Holy Spirit.  We only have such a short time to live for Him - how are we spending our time?

Oh God - I pray this won't be a passing thought... but that You will strengthen us to be courageous and to live for You. That we will let YOU change us. It won't happen by accident... we have to allow it. We need our time alone with you. We need a real prayer life. We need to be active participants... but our eyes must be set on You. And You alone. Father - help us to be lights, burning for You.

Do you know what the last verse was that Bethany wrote in her journal? Duncan spoke about it at the memorial service...

Jeremiah 9:24
"but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight," declares the LORD.

I know our God had great delight in Bethany. And now she is with Him.

So don't take your life for granted. And don't take the lives of those around you for granted. Love big. Hold close. And live... full out for Him.

And please keep praying for Duncan, the Kroeze family and the Beckett family.

One Day when Heaven was filled with His praises...

I think this is my all-time favorite hymn... there are hundreds of good ones, but the moment I first heard this one, it claimed a special spot.  This may be an old faithful of yours, but I first heard it the summer of 2006 when I came to Toronto for my first school work term. It was at a sing, and once they finished the first round, I begged them to sing it one more time. And they did.

The traditional tune is beautiful.  Casting Crowns has also recorded it with a different tune which I love as well... the words just can't be ignored... the contrast from where He came from and what He came to... what He endured because He loves me.  This always bring a smile to my face and a triumphant "YES! THANK YOU!" to my heart.

I am so thankful I can call this Man my Saviour... my Redeemer... my Lord... my Jesus. 

Take a moment, and read through... and praise Him for all that He is and all that He has done and continues to do.

One day when heaven was filled with His praises

One day when heaven was filled with His praises,
One day when sin was as black as could be,
Jesus came forth to be born of a virgin—
Dwelt among men, my example is He!

Living, He loved me;  dying, He saved me;
Buried, He carried my sins far away;
Rising, He justified freely forever:
One day He's coming—O glorious day!

One day they led Him up Calvary's mountain,
One day they nailed Him to die on the tree;
Suffering anguish, despised and rejected;
Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He.

One day they left Him alone in the garden,
One day He rested, from suffering free;
Angels came down o'er His tomb to keep vigil;
Hope of the hopeless, my Savior is He.

One day the grave could conceal Him no longer,
One day the stone rolled away from the door;
Then He arose, over death He had conquered;
Now is ascended, my Lord evermore.

One day the trumpet will sound for His coming,
One day the skies with His glory will shine;
Wonderful day, my beloved ones bringing;
Glorious Savior, this Jesus is mine!

Living, He loved me; dying, He saved me;

Buried, He carried my sins far away;
Rising, He justified freely forever:
One day He's coming—O glorious day!
~
Amen. :)


Listen to Casting Crown's Version here...

A Fall Excursion

Well, we've decided. And I'm excited.

We're escaping on a road trip over the Thanksgiving weekend! We're using up a few remaining vacation days, and heading South of the border... The plan is to stay a night near Lake Placid, NY, a night in Burlington, VT, a night in Connecticut or NJ, and two nights in NYC.

In our travels, we hope to see some wonderful displays of nature's fall colours... maybe something like this?







I'm also super excited because I just confirmed plans to meet up with family in Connecticut for a few hours... it has been YEARS since I've been there, and I have such happy memories. I know the hours will go by too fast.

The Big Apple is our final destination, and one my man is most looking forward to. We'll see how much we can pack into a day and a half before heading home... we'll likely need a fix of those serene fall colours again after the sights and sounds of NYC!




Just 3 sleeps away.... yay! :)