I've come here to write multiple times since my last post... but what I'm able to put words to seems far too trivial... yet what my heart and mind has been mulling over for awhile now is still so jumbled that expressing myself seems next to impossible.
My heart is still so heavy for Duncan... while the "events" are over with and people go on with their lives, his life is still shattered. He is only at the beginning of a very long and lonely grieving experience. And that must just seem overwhelming. All words fail me when I think about this, but I know Christ hears the cries of my heart and brings them to the Father on my behalf.... and joins them with the prayers of others for Duncan's comfort and strength.
Tuesday night at my bible study where we're doing Beth Moore's "A Woman's Heart - God's Dwelling Place" (a study on the Tabernacle), the focus of the night was Christ as our Great High Priest who always lives to intercede for His own. I was reminded that Christ is never further than God's right hand, and there is constant discussion between Triune God as Christ brings forward our concerns, our prayers, our requests, our confessions, our heartbreak, our triumphs, our fears, our doubts... EVERYTHING that concerns His children, Christ brings before the Father.
It was pointed out that we have a skewed concept of God... we think that just because He is all-knowing means He doesn't think... deliberate... reflect upon... that if we thought He did any of these, than we're saying he doesn't know... completely false. God IS all knowing... He knows the end from the beginning. But He is THINKING about you. He is THINKING about me. He is reflecting and taking notice of what is happening every moment of our daily life. He makes conscious decisions concerning my life and your life to accomplish HIS purposes for our individual lives here, in our generation.
That hard blow comes... and in despair we wonder "Where is God in this? Does He care?" Yes, Child of God. He cares. And this trial did not come on a whim... it was a deliberate decision by our Heavenly Father to allow this trial... But why? Because He has a plan and a purpose for my life here, and your life here... and this trial is critical to us accomplishing our purpose for God here in our generation. We may not see the fruit of it, but we can trust the all-knowing God who never makes a mistake. He is only good.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD.
God is talking to his people in exile. Here they were taken captive and carried away from their beloved Jerusalem to Babylon. You can only imagine what their pain was, their fear, their doubts in the God who promised to make them a great nation. Yet - this was part of God's plan. This was critical to accomplish his purposes for His people... This is what vs 4 says: "This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon." This wasn't the plan of the evil one... God takes credit for this trial to His people. It was part of a bigger plan.
Yet God never minimizes the pain His children are feeling... while He allows a deep valley, a dark trial, a painful experience - He promises to be there as the Comforter. As the King of Peace. As the Rock - a Firm Foundation. As the Shield. As the Wings of Shelter. As The Protector. As the Cleft in the Rock - a Hiding Place. He doesn't leave us alone to face these dark experiences. He is the Light in our Darkness. He is the Healer. He binds up the broken hearted. He sets captives free. He is our Saviour. And we must trust Him. He's got it under control. While we may feel shattered - He is not shaken.
Does he really take notice of your agony? Yes... here is just one example.
Ps 56:8 says: "You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?" (KJV)
I like the message paraphrase: "You've kept track of my every toss and turn, through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book."
Then, finally, in Mal 3:16 - "Then those who feared the LORD spoke with one another. The LORD paid attention and heard them, and a book of remembrance was written before him of those who feared the LORD and esteemed his name."
So while each step of your life was predetermined by the all-knowing God before you were even born, He is currently paying attention to every detail of your life. Every pain. And every Joy. Remember that Christ - who gave Himself as a sacrifice for you, to Redeem you - is forever living at God's right hand making intercession for you. They are taking note of you dear one... and Christ is praying for you. Amazing!
Even in your pain - give Him Praise for who He is.
So, if you are going through a deep dark valley right now - remember that Your God is with you, holding your right hand. He is wanting to strengthen your faith and bring you through this victorious. His work in our lives is to mold us to be more like Him and to equip us with the critical "tools" to accomplish His purpose for our life ... here. Living in our generation.
Will I step out of the way, submit myself to God's perfect will and plan, and allow Him to accomplish His purpose for my life?? He saved me and left me here for a reason... time is short... I pray I will be molded to be more like Him and to live out His purposes for my life.
Let's pray for one another.