The phone was ringing... My panicked thoughts: "What on earth am I doing?!? Hang up! Hang up!"
Too late... couldn't hang up... couldn't just say I was calling to say hi, cause that's.... well, that's just ridiculous. I'm sure I stammered and stuttered yet I was trying to be cool and act like this is something I did all the time! And of course, he's "just a friend" so there's no issue, right?? I finally blurt out my question...
"Umm... I've been given two tickets to the Roger's Cup Gold medal match, and I thought you might be interested in going... no worries if you're busy or not interested, just...if you want to." Heart pounding. WHY AM I DOING THIS?! Yet strangely excited that this might happen. Such a mix of emotions.
"I'd love to! That's sounds great! Thank you!"
Me... "Really?? Cool." :) Inside Happy Dance. Truly.
I don't think the conversation went much longer - I really don't remember. It was blur. I hung up and stared at the wall with this grin on my face... maybe, just maybe... I really was getting hopeful.
Thursday we were meeting up with NJ Girl and her husband in the evening, and for some reason my tall friend was the one to pick me up. It was a fairly long commute getting up to NJ Girls' home - bus, subway, change to another subway line and then take a bus to a stop up closer to NJ Girl's home where they'd pick me up. This day, my tall friend offered to cut off that last leg of the trip and pick me up at the end of the East subway line at the mall where he had picked me up the Friday before going up to the cottage. Fine with me! :)
And for another reason that I also can not remember (likely the same reason why he was picking me up and not NJ Girl), we stopped at Subway (the fast-food restaurant - not the underground train!) for a quick supper. I think we were just meeting up with NJ Girl and her husband at Starbucks afterwards... anyway, I managed to get half a sandwich or so down while we chatted. Other than my stomach and the butterflies that I could not tame, I was actually quite comfortable with this tall friend. Conversation was easy, and I just felt content.
We hung out with NJ Girl and her husband, and when it was time to leave, my tall friend casually offered to drive me home to save NJ Girl and her husband the trip ("home" was about 30 minutes away). I was getting reckless now... I didn't hesitate and said "Sure!" and jumped into the front seat of his Civic. NJ Girl looked kind of surprised, but nothing was said... ;)
NJ Girl and her husband must have been going away for some of the weekend - I don't remember... but on the way home my tall friend suggested we hang out Friday evening, you know, because "we were both free"... So plans were made for him to pick me up at the subway stop after work... Excited and nervous! The "vibes" were certainly going in the right direction...
And lest you think this was being "run" on emotions alone, I was praying specifically about this tall friend since not long after we met... first, "Lord - Please guard my heart... don't let me be fickle... guard me from emotional turmoil that is not part of your plan..." Then, "Lord - this doesn't seem to be going away... every time I'm around him, these emotions get stronger... Please direct me! Please give me peace in knowing You are guiding me... Please close the door if this is 'just about me and my emotions'... and please, please don't let me 'fall alone'..." And then, "Lord, there really seems to be peace here... he really seems to be 'the one'... we connect... deep down there is a contentedness and peace when I'm around him... if this from You? You know my heart and how I can deceive myself... so please, please continue to guide me... guide us... preserve us from making a mistake..."
Somehow during these days, I managed to be productive at work... I have written proof... thankfully, because when I look back to these couple of weeks - all I remember is a love-sick haze! :)
Friday after work... we went to the driving range again. Funny. We didn't spend too long there... it wasn't a "much-loved" activity - more just something to do. Of course we went out to eat again... why he continued to bring me near food is beyond me, because my appetite seriously was gone. I'd be starving, and then two bites and I wouldn't be able to get another thing down. Other than the awkwardness of it, I certainly enjoyed the effect it was having on my clothes fitting! :)
The Taste of the Danforth - a street festival all about Greek food and culture - was happening on Saturday, so since we were meeting up late afternoon for the Tennis match, we decided to go early and spend the day on the Danforth. Instead of him driving all the way North to pick me up in the morning, I offered to take the bus down to the Finch subway stop and meet him there. Seemed to make the most sense so he agreed before dropping me off for the night.
It was this drive home when I really started to think he might ask me out. 30 long minutes of making small talk, enjoying the silence, listening to Third Day and constantly thinking... "Now? Is he going to ask now??" I had no idea how or when it would happen, but I did have a deep down peace about saying "yes"... once you got past the butterfly activity. The butterfly activity that was affecting both my eating and sleeping...