So... Was I "just a friend" in his eyes? Did he have a girl back home? (If he did - he certainly didn't mention her EVER!)
These were thoughts I kept pushing to the back of my mind because I was working on convincing myself that HE was just a friend. I mean - we just met! We barely knew each other. And..., I had just arrived at a place in my life where I was at peace knowing I was where God wanted me to be. I was single because that was His plan for me "right now". And, I was enjoying my new studies... I wasn't searching for a man "right now".
Two of my close friends were marrying each other back East, and I had a flight booked to make a swift trip back for their wedding and one day at Pugwash conference on the July long weekend. I was so excited to be going home!! Plus, everyone was clearing out of the city for the weekend - my NJ friend was going away. My new tall friend was in Boston for a course. The family I was boarding with were away for vacation.
I took a bus out to the airport from Sunnybrook (where I was working) to catch my flight on Friday... only to find out that my flight was delayed. An hour later, delayed again. An hour later, delayed again. I can't remember how many times this happened, except it felt like I was in the airport forever. So I read a book - This Can't be Happening at MacDonald Hall... a Gordon Korman book for early teens... I think I found it at a yardsale and wanted to re-read... it was still funny!
Then I took out my notebook and wrote. I had a habit back then of writing letters to people that I never intended to send, thus making them very honest letters. This one was to my new tall friend. In blue (I don't like black pens) I wrote out my thoughts, feelings and questions... realizing the knowledge that I wasn't going to see him for a few days made me miss him... which made me realize that he was starting to mean more to me than just a "guy friend"... yikes!! Terrifying, because I was so done with having my heart hurt. I wasn't going to be the stupid one to let it happen again.
Still waiting for my flight...
To my dismay, the multiple delays ended in a cancellation. Meaning... I would miss the wedding. The next available flight would have left me with about 3 hours with my family before having to fly back. I tried desperately to find another way. No luck. Devastated much? Wow. I can't describe the emotional disappointment it was. I made a fool of myself in the airport. I cried and cried. One kind lady offered comfort saying that I could join her and her kids in a hotel room and fly out the next day... but I sobbed... "That won't work - the wedding will be over." How embarrassing.
I cried myself out of the airport (it's at least 11pm now), assuring a concerned security guard I REALLY was fine, and flagged down a cab. It would have taken every last student $ I made to take the cab all the way 'home', so I took it to Finch subway station. And from there took a bus up North.... and yes, crying all the way. Somehow I finally made it 'home' and fell into my bed crying. Slept. Woke up to a quiet house and decided to rest out in the sunshine listening to music... and... cried. I only share this because I have no recollection of another time when I cried so consistently!! It's funny (kind of) now... :)
Anyway, I'm wayyyy off topic, living through that horrendous disappointment. I must say, I have wonderfully thoughtful friends who sent pictures as soon as they walked in the door from the wedding... Thank you M&L. :)
Soooo... back to the story. (There was a point in the above story... remember the letter??)
My friends came home from NJ and quickly got me going again... they were heading to a friends' place for a BBQ and I was invited along. We were up there sitting out on the deck enjoying the late afternoon air... when guess who walked around the corner of the house?! YES!! I thought he was still away... and here he was. My night just got better. :) It got dark and some were in the hot tub, and some were sitting around a little fire... the two of us were sitting side-by-side back aways just chatting. I told him my sob-story of not getting home for the wedding, and he says... "You were here the whole weekend? I wish I had known... you could have used my car while I was gone."
He had a new Honda Civic, 5-speed stick shift. Spotless. And he was saying he would have let me use it????? That might not seem like a big deal to you, and I'm not sure that it was to him, but for me.... well.... it was a big deal to me. And my heart went mush.
It was also that night I thought he told me he was an engineer... but that's a whole other story. He's not. His degree is Business Admin... To this day he still teases me about this!
A group of us spent the day at Canada's Wonderland one Saturday for the park and a Third Day concert... we had a fun crew, though there was an uneven number of us, which doesn't bode well for pairing up for rides. Somehow he and I spent most of the day as a pair... it was such a hot fun day. I was hyper (never a good thing in public...) and he seemed to be having fun teasing me. He's just the cutest when he's teasing with that smirk and laughing eyes. I was falling.....
Another Saturday the four of us made a truly out-of-character-group-decision to leave early and rollerblade the Don River Bike trail... I can't remember which of us suggested it first - I'm terrified to think it was me!! We started at Edwards Gardens near Sunnybrook... someone told us it was paved the whole way. W.R.O.N.G. It was frequently downhill and there was sand, rocks, paved path, stairs, bridges... you name it and it was part of this trail! It was about 14 kms long... none of us were athletes. Check this link if you are curious about what trail it was... http://www.ontariobikepaths.com/DonRiver.htm This link shows it from Toronto's Lakeshore and north, but we started near Sunnybrook and went south to Lakeshore. So much fun, but brutal!
We had lunch downtown, wandered around for a bit but we were too exhausted to do much... so we took the subway north. Except we miscalculated where to get off and we ended up over an hour's walk away from our car... except someone (not me) kept thinking we were "close" so we didn't get a cab... just kept walking... and moaning... and whining... and walking... and... finally made it! What a day! I doubt we'll ever repeat it, but it was a fun experience! Of course... it didn't matter to me what we did that summer - any time we were together was a great experience... haha
One July weekend the four of us were invited to their friends' cottage about 2.5 hours away. My NJ friend and her husband were going up early. My new tall friend was working until end of day Friday, as was I. I didn't really have any plans to go as I hardly knew these cottage friends at the time, and I certainly wasn't going to arrange any drives with this boy. I wasn't THAT forward. (yet) I think by now my NJ friend was hoping there might be a future match, so she was willing to play matchmaker - without our permission. After a few of her strong hints, my new tall friend offered me a drive up to the cottage Saturday morning. He got my number from my friend to arrange details later in the week.
I had days to anticipate this little trip. Days to be nauseous from nerves and excitement. It was about this time I lost my appetite.....
Oooh Janna.. I'm lovin' this! I remember seeing some of those trail pictures for the first time and wondering about you and Mr Tall! Can't wait to read your next segment!
ReplyDeleteOoh! This is way better than a soap opera (not that I ever watch them). I am so loving your story!
ReplyDeleteI wondered the same thing about Scott at first: Does he have a girl back home???
BTW, we're coming up to Toronto in about 3 weeks; hope to see you! We're staying at Sarah's in Etobicoke though—not sure where we'll be for Sundays.
Waiting for Part 3,
Bobbiann